CURTAIN OPENS
Four twenty-somethings are standing outside a nondescript pizza restaurant in the Florida panhandle. They are generally at ease, and currently chuckling about how one of them heard a passer by proclaim "This restaurant has the best ice on 30-a".
Enter CRAZY GUY
CRAZY GUY exits restaurant, points at BRAD. BRAD is leaning nonchalantly against a column with his arms crossed, still laughing at the dumb thing the girl said. He looks at man with a confused expression, wondering if this man is someone he should know.
CRAZY GUY points again. BRAD changes expression as if to say "Oh shit, something bad is about to happen"
CRAZY GUY (still pointing) to anyone who will listen: "Look how mad this guy is!"
BRAD (hesitant): "Me?"
CRAZY GUY: "This guy is just mad all the time. I know this type of guy!"
BRAD: "Dude, I'm not mad, what are you talking about?"
CRAZY GUY: "You're totally mad"
BRAD: "I'm leaning against this column, I don't real..."
CRAZY GUY (interrupting): "You're about to snap and kill somebody aren't you?"
BRAD (hesitates, then sarcastically): "Yeah I've been known to do that. This one time some lunatic came up and started accusing me of all kinds of shit and I just stabbed him right there. It was wild"
CRAZY GUY (not taking the hint): "I knew it... I know you're type, just sitting there all James Bond like... waiting for the opportune moment to assassinate somebody."
BRAD is dumbfounded. Other members of the crowd giggle. BRAD straightens up and takes his hands out of his pockets in case CRAZY GUY decides to make a move. CRAZY GUY interprets this as confirmation that BRAD is indeed an undercover member of an intelligence agency.
CRAZY GUY: "I bet you're in MI-6 or something, yeah... you are"
BRAD: "Yup, we keep a pretty strong presence here in Seaside... you know... ever since that whole bay of pigs thing. Cuba is definitely still up to someth..."
CRAZY GUY (interrupting): "Oh you totally blew it! You're not supposed to talk about being a spy!"
BRAD: "Actually, the CIA has a much more progressive stance on cover identities now... especially when you're playing the spy card to get laid. They're totally cool with that... David Webb does it all the time."
CRAZY GUY (ironically not picking up on the Jason Bourne reference): "You just compromised another agent too... they're totally going to put a hit squad out on you! Just like Jason Bourne."
CRAZY GUY (to passer-by): "Hey watch this guy... hes a damned spy"
CRAZY GUY points to his eyes and after a moment whispers: "Watch him!"
CRAZY GUY begins to back away, staring at BRAD, and whispers again: "Watch him!"
CRAZY GUY then turns to leave as BRAD watches.
Exit CRAZY GUY
BRAD turns to his companions: "Holy... Fucking... Shit. What just happened?"
4 comments:
hahahaha.
i wish i was there to see that.
i love seaside!
You should totally straight up murder that guy and prove him right. Good choice on the presentation style of the story too. Much appreciated.
evidently greg has rethought his previous comment... had some time to wade through it big guy?
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