I bet the kid's dad was a big-time multitasker. They can't drive to save their asses, yet they still are screwing with their Blackberries while they're poking at their GPS and texting their bitches while trying to get the straw into the Capri Sun pack because the kids yelling his head off in the back seat of the Tahoe. And when they're not on the road, they're "synergizin" down the grocery aisle, yelling at the Campbell's Cream of Failure Soup for One like some homeless maniac, except then you notice the Bluetooth dongle blinking in his head so you don't have to hold your purse close to you. God knows what these people will do when the s**t comes down and it's $12 a gallon gas and they have to sell their ass on the street because they forclosed on their 4 acre spread in Front Royal except nobody's buying because they've been reduced to using livestock for currency and they can't take any more goddamned emus. And this s**t is only going to get worse when everybody has TWO iPhones and they're walking into everybody else on the sidewalk because they're busy downloading music from the iTunes store and Twittering all those people they've never even MET before and then they realize, "S**T! I left my baby at the Genius Bar at the Apple Store!"
Game over, man. I'm moving to f**king American Samoa and opening a BBQ stand. You all can f**k yourselves with a white hot poker.
-Blenk
1 comment:
On a similar note, if I hear one more girl in her stupid Gucci sunglasses say "OMG"... out loud, I'm going to punch her right in her plastic nose. "OMG" and "Oh my God" have the exact same number of syllables, which means (you stupid iBitch), that it takes the exact same amount of time to say. Congratulations, way to choose hip, popular culture grammar (or lack therof) over general intelligibility. I "ROTFLMAO" at you.
Post a Comment