This just in from the Onion

Washington DC

I saw this on the onion today. I liked it.

-Blenk

An Ode....

Continuing the fledgling tradition....


There are! I say there are so many amendments in the constitution of the United States of Americaaaa! I can only choose one! I can only choose ooooooone! I plead the PHIF! I plead the PHIF!!! FIVE! 1,2,3,4, PHIFFF! Anything you say! PHIIIF! Go ahead and ask me a question!

Senator: How do...

Tron: PHif! I like to show all of you a secret document!

Tron: PHIIIIIFFFF!


one love, holla bitches

Portrait of Phif

Immediately after viewing Brandon's post, I decided to use my time machine to travel a few years into the future and warn Phif of his impending doom. Unfortunately I miscalculated the date and arrived only seconds before Phil bathed his son in a delectable marinade, sprinkled on some paprika, and swallowed the toddler in one bite... it was startling.

In any case, I was able to use my camera phone to snap a photo of Phif. I will post it here in hopes that the terror expressed on his face will make Phil cease his baby eating ways, and perhaps alter the future so that the tragic events I witnessed do not take place.

-Brad

Phif Schaeffing....watch out for Dad.

Washington, DC

Seeing as Phil has been known to consume a small child from time to time, I figured I should send his unborn son, Phif, a visual warning. Enjoi.
-Blenk

That'll be Crunch to Ye!

Washington, DC
Just wishing you all a Happy Halloween!! House Real Big Style.
Btw, Did I mention I saw Minus the Bear with Greg here in DC....kick ass show, I highly sugest you make the effort to see such a performance. I will post more of the great shots we got from our ND DC Young Alum. Booze Cruise SYR as I get them sorted out.

Give me your fingernails!

-Blenk

Sir, we have a situtation here

I was able to get two Jimmy Eat World tickets just before the show here in New York sold out. If anybody wants the second ticket, let me know. If you have to make a trip all the way here for it, I'll probably just give it to you. It's on Friday November 9th. Doors open at 7:00. Just send me an e-mail...

Monsieur Mountain

Don't drink and drive... or watch volleyball in the bathroom.

OK, so I'm all for the current trend of putting in flatscreens above the urinals so that I don't miss any of the football game when I have to relieve myself after a pitcher or two of delicious beverage. However, I believe that there needs to be more thought put into what exactly appears on those TVs. Can anyone explain the circumstances under which I would need to watch a college volleyball game while simultaneously pissing on a urinal cake offering advice on the dangers of drinking and driving? Not to mention that the teams playing were San Diego State and University of Nevada - Las Vegas... no one in Florida cares about those colleges in the first place, let alone their women's volleyball teams.

-Brad

Was that a landing or were we shot down?

I was just looking for a funny ATA picture for my post when I stumbled onto this gem:



"By all accounts, ATA is pretty much the worst airline currently in business. (I think it's short for American Trans Air, but it could just as well be A Terrible Airline.) Just about everyone I know who has flown ATA has a horror story to share, and has vowed never to fly ATA again.
Having said that, I must say that this is a pretty impressive snack mix, with some unique shapes and a good, mild cheese flavor — quite a bit more interesting than the plain bags of pretzels that some airlines are giving out these days. Contents include short pretzel sticks, broken up corn chips, small cheese crackers shaped like a pound sign (#), small round cheese crackers with an X in the middle, cheese crackers shaped like ladders, and things that seem kind of like broken up sesame sticks. The cheese taste is like Cheez-Its but milder. Everything in the bag is kind of tiny, meaning this small bag ends up having 100 or more individual pieces of the various snacks in it. But that might be a plus in this case: Given the fact that this is likely to be the only food you're given on an entire flight, having to eat such a large number of pieces helps to spread the snack over a longer period of time.

Aroma: Very strong cheddar smell. Very nice."

I personally went to 5 different airports, had one flight canceled, one flight delayed 3 hours, had my boarding pass and bag checked in as a female passenger named 'Stephanie' and my bag subsequently sent to the wrong airport. Wish I had been awake for those cheese snacks.

Mr. Mountain

Eat your fruit roll

Dirty South

Gentlemen,

It was indeed a fun weekend in the Bend. Great to see everyone who made it out, and hopefully the rest of you are doing well. Friday night was a good time that thankfully did not end at the Backer. Or outside it. And maybe our offense has found a new spark in the process.

Everything real big,
Motown, father of Phif

Thanks for letting me borrow the company camera Cooper Carry

Phil can still keep up at Phil's pace.

-Blenk

world eating... kobayashi winner and still champion

Brian,

I'm sure you stayed up till midnight and patronized the Pittsburgh Virgin Megastore at .0001 second past to get your shiny new copy of "Chase This Light". You probably stayed up all night memorizing the words, and may or may not have called in sick today to draft a love letter to the members of Jimmy Eat World, signing it "XOXOXO" with a pink pen, and sealing the envelope with a heart sticker and a mist of fine perfume.

But just in case you didn't... I'm listening to it right now in the office... and it's really good... and you should buy it.

And if you can't wait till after work, Go Here

-Brad

JOVI PUNCH!

I am glad that most of us had an opportunity to get back for the game. It was a truly emotional experience which I find hard to describe, being back there with some of my closest friends. I thought to myself , what would be the best way to convey all these pent up emotions. This is an eloquent means of showing you all how I truly feel, inside...



Soulja Boy Off In This Hoe
Watch Me Lean And Watch Me Rock
Super Man Dat Hoe
Then Watch Me Crank Dat Robocop
Super Fresh, Now Watch Me Jock
Jocking On Them Haterz Man
When I Do Dat Soulja Boy
I Lean To The Left And Crank Dat thing
(Now Yua!)
I'm Jocking On Yo Bitch Ass
And If We Get The Fightin
Then I'm Cocking On Your Bitch
You Catch Me At Yo Local Party
Yes I Crank It Everyday
Haterz Get Mad Cuz
"I got me some bapes today"

Soulja Boy Off In This Hoe
Watch Me Crank It
Watch Me Roll
Watch Me Crank Dat Soulja Boy
Then Super Man Dat Hoe



I'm Bouncin On My Toe
Watch Me Super Soak Dat Hoe
Im 2 clean off in this hoe
Watch me crank it
Watch me roll
Watch me crank that roosavelt
And super soak that Hoe
And super soak that Hoe
And super soak that Hoe
And super soak that Hoe
And super soak that Hoe

Im to fresh up in this bitch
Watch me shuffle
Watch me jig
Watch me crank my shoulder work
Super man that bitch
Super man that bitch
Super man that bitch
Super man that bitch
Super man that bitch


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sLGLum5SyKQ

I dunno if anyone else is choked up after that one, but I am a little misty eyed. I must be back to business (aka not taking care of drunk chicks instead of getting into bars...chivalry is dead and women bludgeoned it to death).

one for the road, enjoy


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1vsxhoBIKgE

-Floro

ATA can suck it.

Washington D.C.

So, we have just touched down on our return home from our journey back to the bend. Although sad in some ways, the trip as a whole was a huge success in most. Further on this later, for now I need to sleep our my job will hate me.

-Blenk

Good Idea Bad Idea

Regardless, I support.

Everything I Do

Washington D.C.
So today, left on my desk, sent from far far away was possibly the single funniest thing I'd ever seen. And I wanted to share this with you all.
Tears I tell you, I'm in tears. Please take note of the perfectly designed drafting-dot heart. That should tell you it all.

- Blenk

He wears T-shirts... sometimes.

So I clicked on this link... because I thought from the headline on CNN that this guy's T-shirt, which Southwest Airlines refused to let him wear on the flight, actually had something to do with airplanes... but it didn't. I actually couldn't believe that southwest would make such a big deal out of this.

I could understand it if he was wearing a t-shirt that said "we're all gonna die", or even one with a cartoon of Cheney wearing a cowboy hat, holding a shotgun, and twirling a lasso while riding on a cruise missle... because references to explosions (no matter how hilarious) will make people on airplanes uncomfortable. But this t-shirt was definitely not more offensive than the guy watching porn on his iPhone on the last flight I took.

So this got me thinking about what T-shirts might get you kicked out of certain events. I bet my "I hate the environment" T-shirt would promptly have me face down in a pile of all-natural fertilizer if I wore it to a LEED conference... but would my "Free Tibet... with purchase" T-shirt earn me an ass-kicking by an angry mob full of people wearing "I heart Bono" T-shirts if I donned it at the Tibetan Freedom Concert?

If so, it would be because the T-shirts were both funny AND inappropriate. On the contrary, wearing a "master baiter" T-shirt on an airplane is just funny.

- Brad

Comparing Apples to Watermelons

Washington D.C.

I just wanted to salute Hal for his grand trip to DC this past weekend. Needless to say, as we have all come to understand, when fun Hal makes an appearance, fun Hal leaves his mark. And needless to say, I paid dearly Sunday for good fun. I wanted to do a quick comparison of two thing i have to to know as facts.

The number of times Brad has forgotten his name while hanging out with old college buddies < (is less than) the number of times Hal threw up on the Metro ride home Saturday night! Frankly I found this astounding. But simple math has told me 2 is still less than 3.

In any case. I salute you both. More on this later.

-Blenk

A Call to Mr. Settle

Brian,

Is your Dad throwing the tailgate or are you bringing the Pass? Just wondering if I should keep hunting for a pass as a possibility to double up the size or what...let's just say I'm excited.

-Blenk

Did Someone Say BC Tailgater?!

Fellas,

In response to Brandon's previous post, I just found out that my Dad, in fact, does have a parking pass for the BC game. It will probably be in the JACC lot somewhere. So we got that going for us, which is nice. See you boys then.

...don't touch the watch... !!

-Settle